This week’s Listicles topic at Monday Listicles is your hometown.
Well.
Mind if I gush?
I was born and raised in Marin County, California. It’s defined a huge part of who I am, and I’m passionate about where I’m from – so first I’m going to give you a photo tour of one of the most beautiful places in the world.
To get there, just head north from San Francisco, and once you cross the Golden Gate bridge, you’re there.
After you drive across the bridge you enter a rainbow tunnel, the first indication that you’re entering a pretty special place:
The Waldo Tunnel leading into Sausalito
Sausalito
View across the Bay to San Francisco.
The biggest indication that you’re in a special place is Mount Tam. This mountain was always a character in the setting of my life – giving me a grounding point so I always knew where I was, where I was going, and where home was.
When I see Mt. Tam, I'm home.
On the other side of Mt. Tam there’s more of the Pacific ocean – and Muir Woods, Stinson Beach, and Bolinas…
Stinson Beach
Ella at Stinson beach
Bolinas
Bolinas is a bastion for surfers and the hippie counterculture – my husband would be chased out with pitchforks and torches for his conservative political views, while I’d probably get sucked into whatever cult was going.
Bolinas earned a reputation for being the most secretive place in the United States because of residents tearing down all destination signs to keep out the bad karma that emanates from all other places – leaving the road to Bolinas completely unmarked.
But I know how to get there.
I grew up in the town of San Rafael. George Lucas filmed parts of the movie American Graffiti there:
My husband and I bought our first house in picturesque San Anselmo:
This is *not* our first house - it's the Seminary.
Yuppie San Anselmo is next door to down-to-Earth Fairfax (whose town motto is, “Only In Fairfax” and has “no chain anything”). The ice cream store serves organic flavors like Honey Lavender and Rose Petal ice cream.
Needless to say my husband would be run out of town for scoffing at the town parade:
10 About My Hometown
1. In 1978 NBC News produced a program about Marin called “I Want It All Now.” It aired nationally and implied that Marin County, one of the most affluent communities in the country, with the highest per capita divorce rate in the nation, the highest per capita number of hot tubs, peacock feathers, Porsches, and New Age kooks (according to them) was shallow and self indulgent.
Want to see it? Click here.
What do I think? Well. Keep reading.
2. Marin is like the handsome quarterback in high school (the one with the cleft chin) – so gorgeous that you have a hard time seeing what’s really underneath. I’m generalizing, but to me Marin is an enclave with its own indulgent, entitled reality – one that’s separate from the rest of the world. It’s cut off but doesn’t know it. I didn’t see this until I moved away - and was able to see it from a less biased perspective.
3. We moved to the East Coast when Fi was 3 because of my husband’s career, and I did not want to leave. Our plan was always to return. But now after 6 years on the East Coast – I’m not so sure I want to move back.
4. Why? Because I’m not sure I want to raise my children there.
5. Why? There is an enormous amount of entitlement in Marin – an ease of lifestyle that facilitates self-indulgence in the form of too much time spent trying to find yourself, obsess about the right organic food, and psychoanalyze the shit out of basically everything.
6. I used to think that all the stories of people I know were typical but turns out, they’re not. Here are some random examples of stuff that has happened back home off the top of my head and in no particular order:
- A mom-friend and her husband moved to Bolinas and joined a “church.” She bought the leader of the cult a compound, and left her husband for this woman – but the husband stayed in the picture. She took her child out of school and followed her to India.
- After her divorce, a mom I know recently got divorced and sold her home for $20 million. Dollars.
- Another mom-friend who is a vegan left her Stanford-educated husband because he was doing psychotropic drugs to find God. He exited the mainstream corporate world, began dressing like Willy Wonka, changed his name to “Magic S.” and opened a vegan chocolate factory. I’m not kidding.
- After moving to California with his wife, my cousin, a relatively normal Canadian who graduated from Yale, went vegan and named his baby Xenops (which means ‘alien tree’ – I looked it up). Oh, yeah. He also changed his baby’s last name from the family name, to the name of a tree. It seems like people who move there from other places go even more beserk for the New Agey-ness than we locals do.
This kind of shit just doesn’t happen in Maryland.
7. It may seem like paradise, but most people seem to be on antidepressants, in therapy, divorced, and/or unknowingly submerged in a never-ending quest to try to find themselves, and to imbue their privileged lives with meaning. I’m all for finding out who you are – and Lord knows I’ve had my share of Gestalt – but there comes a point when you just need to go out and live.
8. Not many locals will admit it, but marriage is seen as disposable or temporary. There is tacit permission to leave a relationship if it gets hard – and this cultural indifference bothers me.
9. Even though it espouses to be a liberal, open-minded town – the truth is that politically it’s pretty intolerant of any other views. I’m a liberal, but my husband is a conservative – I didn’t see this one-dimensional side of Marin until I saw it through his eyes.
10. Even though, like the gorgeous quarterback who is riddled with flaws, Marin has “issues”…it will always be my hometown.
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I does look beautiful. Forgive me for being so forward but it seems mostly privileged folks are on quest of finding themselves. If you struggle to feed your family and keep them safe, worrying about using only vegan ingredients in your chocolate is probably not on top of your list…
I must take time one day to watch that show. 50 minutes is a bit long for tonight, but soon. Are you in any of the shots as a cute 2 year old
Oh wow and I thought Grey’s Anatomy was just made up s—t. A total drama sitcom in Marin, huh?
a) I also think that economy allows humanity to do the best to find answers to their problems. And that leads them to shape their believes in themselves and in others. It is also hard to find a middle point when it comes to goverment support, money, religion and politics. A whole bunch of spagetti mess.
b) I have witness the mentality of a nation facing the stuff in your post. And because of the lack of things in my above statement …a)… People tended to be really screwed up in different ways, which keeps leading to other type of disorders.
c) When coming to Vancouver, it seemed very similar to Marin. I could’t understand the amount of “time” on someones hand to find themselves. I couldn’t understand the use of drugs and noone thinking was big s—t.
This was a very interesting post.
p.s. there might be bad spelling here, but I blame your blog for not letting me right-click to correct them
I’ve been to Sausalito and it was gorgeous. I walked around, had a coffee at a cafe and then left.
Reading this kinda made me glad I can see the place as a visitor! Not to say you did Marin County any injustice of course. But I’m glad you can see it for what it is, and that you’re happy where you are now. And still feel that where you grew up, is home.
Am I making any sense at all?
I remember when a friend’s brother (who lived in Marin) said proudly, ‘well our house is totally eco-friendly” (they even had a brick in the toilet tank to use less water). I thought to myself, well duh. Try being totally eco-friendly in the south bronx, pal, and see how far you get. Not entirely fair of me, but still. I LOVE stinson beach; would buy a house there in a minute if I had a spare 5-20 million smackeroos, but the entitlement and sense of privilege–the kind of smugness that seems oblivious to its own privilege really gets to me. mmm…but beautiful landscape? oh yeah. Have you been to Deetjens Big Sur Inn? Not Marin but…gorgeeeeeeeous.
Wow, what an incredibly beautiful place you grew up in! But I love the perspective you’ve gained since moving away, and I can so relate. I live near an earthy-crunchy upstate NY town of a certain fame that has similar issues
You can’t imagine (or you probably can) the array of healers, massage therapists, life gurus….!
Mom and Dad lived in Tiburon for a number of years–they never really got new-agey, but there was a certain intolerence and sense of entitlement that they developed while living there that you touch on in exactly the right way. For example, they and their neighbors waged a battle against the phone company because the telephone poles and wires were too ugly, and they wanted them removed–at the phone company’s expense–with no interruption to their telephone and internet service. The tone was almost that the phone company should feel lucky that people in Tiburon wanted to use their service.
Nonetheless, it is still one of the most beautiful places on Earth, and I think you’re pretty lucky to be from there. Maybe it’s better to visit there than to live there anyway?
the photos look great and all, but i love having four seasons- and i’m not big on snobbiness (which can be found anywhere, of course).
It certainly looks gorgeous! And I am sure we would all find some flaws in our hometown’s if we looked close enough. having never been from the “privileged set”, I don’t know what all the retrospection is for: perhaps just because they can? Gosh, I’d love just 10 minutes to be completely self-indulgent! LOL but I would bet it does stem from a need to determine, why? what’s the purpose? When you are free from money worries – you have time for those kind of deep questions.
Being a Cali girl myself, and I’ve been to Marin County as well, I still prefer the East Coast to any other place I’ve lived. I’ll take Boston, New York, or even Annapolis over San Diego, Monterey and San Fran!
Thanks for sharing your insiders view.
It does look beautiful and oh how I would love to to drive through that rainbow tunnel! Who knew there could be so much drama in real life? I’m going to have to check out that special now!
Warning: it’s 51 minutes and was made back in the 70s. (-:
There’s no way I could drive through that rainbow tunnel without a smile on my face!
The problem is every time we visit there I really don’t want to leave again…
Your hometown is gorgeous! And it’s flaws are both funny and sad. I really enjoyed reading about it, but can see why you might not want your daughters raised there. Maybe it’s one of those ‘it’s a nice place to visit but…’ kinda places.
I’d definitely like to learn more about it and will be watching the video later.
Well, the pictures are gorgeous anyway!
I love that rainbow tunnel! You could say your hometown is unique to say the least.
Looking at it, I want to live there. But hearing you talk about it…maybe not so much!
This is awesome! I’m from down-peninsula (at least for part of my childhood) and settled in SF for a number of years. Marin always seemed like a beautiful but definitely slightly-off-kilter place. It’s great to read something about it from an insider’s (and now outsider’s) perspective. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Venus (-:
It looks beautiful and Bolinas sounds fascinating. I like your honesty about your hometown issues which I think would also turn me away from raising my family there. Those are some interesting facts you shared.
I honestly think, Ado, that I could live in Marin County. It’s so breathtaking, and it seems like it’s filled with such life and gusto. The type of place to grow happy & well rounded kids. Sigh…instead I’m in Jersey.
Well hey you could have a point – I grew up there and I’m happy and round. (-:
I have been through the rainbow tunnel on the other side of the bridge, I was lost, but it was cool. I’m an old hippie at heart, so tie die, greatful dead and rainbows are something I admire from afar. Eventually I’ll be able to join a cult and drink some kool aide but for now I’m stuck at the 9-5 waiting for the mother ship.
Really I loved your post and pictures, thanks for posting them.
Oh that was funny Madge – thanks for the giggle! (-:
Well the whole area is now on my list to visit, thanks to your beautiful photos, but I’ll stay away from drugs and churches while I’m in Marin and just enjoy the scenery.
Marin is beautiful. Love the rainbow tunnel.
I’m originally from Fremont, a ways across the Bay.
It’s certainly odd and beautiful. I’m sure it would be interesting to observe…sort of like a safari.
Looks beautiful! People do all kinds of crazy things anywhere! My cousin from Chicago named her son Eros…
Well, I sure love to visit your neck of the woods! Have made a note never to move there. I’m self-indulgent enough already!
I’m pretty good at being self-indulgent too. (0:
The pictures are as interesting as the stories you’ve shared about living there. I live in Maryland and it’s not nearly as interesting. I don’t know anyone who’s sold a home for $20 dollars or named their kid after a type of alien. That’s pretty cool.