Chosen Chaos and Mommy2Cents are hosting a Ghosts of Christmas Past link-up where you link up a post you wrote in your first week of blogging. Here’s an oldie but goodie from the archives when I had a grand total of 7 readers, most of whom were spammers. Also linking up with one of my fave link-ups, the fabulous lovelinks.
This message is in my Site Stats:
“There are 106 comments in your Spam Queue right now.”
What kind of loser spams a mommy blogger? You’d think it would be diaper companies, cereal makers, or toy manufacturers. But when I took a closer look to find out what worm holes these spam-boobs crawled out of, I found sites that have nothing to do with parenting. There were spammers I couldn’t read from Asia and Russia, a scientific one, a blog generator, and one unmentionable. The only common denominator was that all have horrifically poor grammatical skills.
From: Jim Morrison’s Ghost
Can’t I just say what a relief it is to find someone who actually knows about what about theyre talking about about this.
Dear Jim Morrison’s Ghost: You have probably dropped about too much acid to be about able to write a coherent about sentence.
From: Robina Kocourik
You must be a genious. I love your posts, will come back later.
Dear Ms. Kocourik: If you’re going to venture into the land of Using Big Words With Two Syllables, Like “Genious,” you might want to use Spell Check. PS: Don’t come back later. Please!
From: Grandma Hystad (my biggest spammer)
Good opinion. How did you came up like this?
When I clicked on Grandma’s return address, I got the most unspeakable recipe for “Beef and Spud Cakes”:
Grandma Hystad’s Recipe for Beef and Spud Cakes and More Food Information
- You incorporate the use of Habitat Various meats and desire.
- A Condition for children
- 8 oz. Beef
- 8 oz. Potatoes
- 1 Thin 2-3 half inch onion chopped finely
- 1 egg yolk.
- Dark scented soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon salt
- Cook typically potatoes and mash. Mix in egg yolk and salt.
- That have is actually tablespoon oil.
- Add on Lower meat
- Toasted for fundamental minutes.
- Make use of soya sauce and mix I would say the whole batch.
- Straight to paintballs the strength of Method balls, flatten In order to cakes.
- Warming some of the fixing pan. Put cakes over.
- Peel, core, and Carve oranges. That will help groups or wedges.
- Dot oranges now with margarine.
Dear Grandma Hystad: I don’t know what country you’re from but I sure-as-shit don’t want to come over to your house to eat anything you make, especially oranges dotted with margarine.
From: Aegean Dirt Recipes
Your page is looks mercy, your graphics are good look, and what’s more, you use reference that are relevant to what you are saying. Do you have weight to lost?
Dear Aegean Dirt Recipes: You might increase your site clicks if you corrected the typo in your header from ‘dirt’ to ‘diet’. Jeez!
Would you be concerned about exchanging hyperlinks?
Dear Unmentionable: I don’t engage in the casual exchange of hyperlinks.
From: MaryAlice Flug
I find myself strongly over it and love learning on this topic, and melted it a bit leaving resin on the bottom of my heart.
Dear Ms. Flug: Thank you for putting some thought into spamming my Mommy-blog. You are touchingly poetic. Please go away.
From: Harmony Cevera
Hey there, Harmony Cevera here. I found your web site while browsing for something different on Google. I liked this specific post “<INSERT BLOGTITLE HERE>”, so I hope you don’t mind I am refer a friend to it.
Dear Harmony: Do you think that when you spam tomorrow’s post you might be able to take the time to cut and paste my blog title into your comment?
You have constructed a very beautiful blog. Your texts is extremely good to reading and well written too.
Dear Slankpiller: I am so flattered! And your user name is so…attractive. Meow! Do you think we could date, Slankpiller?
From: Chemical Sedimentary Rock Facts Glossary
I am very interested in. May I ask to spoon feed the detail please?
Dear Blah-Blah-Blah-Rock-Facts-etc.-etc.-Glossary: You probably don’t even have thumbs yet and are unable to use a spoon, so No.
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