Ally at Two Normal Moms was going to choose Things That Make Moms Anxious for this week’s Listicles topic, but she chose the Top 10 Changes You’d Like to See Before You Die because she wasn’t sure how many of us would emerge from the shadows to talk about the stuff that makes us think about getting a scrip for Xanax or whatever the drug du jour is for anxious moms these days.
Well, Ally – you’re not alone. I regularly whip myself into a state of heightened anxiety over mundane, mom-oriented things – for example, anything that has to do with a single piece of paper being returned to school in a timely manner with my signature on it.
I hope you don’t mind but I’d prefer to haul the skeletons out of my virtual psych ward, instead of listing my hopes for the world, which frankly are kind of boring and Al Gore-ish.
Top 10 Things That Make Me Consider Anxiety Meds
1. Being a parent. I’m responsible for two children’s lives. OMG.
2. My child disappears behind a:
- clothing rack at the mall
- different aisle at the supermarket
- crowd at a public gathering
- <fill in the blank here>
By the time most moms start looking around for their child, I’ve already pictured myself being interviewed on Nancy Grace and combed through the crime scene.
3. Trying to figure out what to put in the <expletive> lunch boxes. *Double the anxiety if I’ve put off making lunches until the morning rush and we have no groceries because I was too busy blogging to go to the store.
4. Getting lost. I get lost regularly. I’ve diagnosed myself with what I call ‘Directional Dyslexia’ – I lack any sense of direction or map-reading ability. Something about getting lost while driving in a big metropolitan area (or out in the country, with the banjo from Deliverance twanging through my head) really freaks me out.
*Double the anxiety if I’m trying to get the kids to an event in a timely manner. **Triple it if I’ve forgotten my cell phone so I can’t make myself feel better by calling husband and shouting at him to MapQuest it even though I have a nav system. ***Quadruple it if we’re in Appalachia.
5. Feeling like I’ve parked my child too long in front of an electronic device such as a computer or iPhone so that I can park myself in front of an electronic device such as a computer or iPhone.
6. Going out of town and leaving my husband in charge of brushing my children’s hair. That one really scares me.
7. Picturing what might happen in the Teen Years. This is just not helpful to anybody.
8. Getting a call from the school. When I see it’s the school calling I think, Oh Jesus they’re all dead, or:
- They’ve all died of small pox.
- My child has slipped on a fava bean and is currently in traction at Walter Reed.
- <Insert random calamity here.>
Our school must have lots of parents like me because they always start every phone call to me with, “Ella and Fiona are fine.” Or…wait a minute. Maybe they only start their calls to me like this because they can sense that I’m anxious? OMG I’m starting to feel anxious about this.
9. Doing Irish dance hair. Securing my kid’s hair in that Shirley Temple wig using 200 bobby pins before a feis so that it doesn’t fly off her precious head during the treble jig competition is enough to make me want to drink vodka straight out of the cat dish, as Anne Lamott says.
10. Moments when I realize my children are growing up and time isn’t moving at the civilized, manageable pace I thought it was – it’s moving at a frigging gallop.
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Love this list. It’s timeless. I remember these feelings many many years ago! My boys are grown and fine. I am a little worse for wear, but can’t complain. You will Rock.
Terri Sonoda recently posted..Sara’s Sleep Part 2
Thanks Terri, I hope to be rocking well into my hundreds. (-:
Seriously fabulous. I live in a bubble so I never worry, which I am constantly worried about. SO I could not pull more then a list of one. But if I had a girl, the hair would freak me out too. Or loosing her. Or growing up and dating. Hey maybe I do have xanax potential in me!!
LOVE your funny, I just really do Ado.
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
Top 10 Things That Make Mommy Consider Anxiety Meds http://t.co/WXOo5YlW by @adothemomalog #MondayListicles
Oh, good Lord, #3 will end me! And #2!! And #5!!! Ack! I need to go lie down.
Cookie’s Mom recently posted..Ten Things That Give Me Anxiety
It’s good to know I’m not alone!!
Motherhood gives me anxiety. It never stops. The worry is always there. One thing goes away and something else pops up. I hear ya on so many of the things you listed!!!! You’re not alone.
Bruna recently posted..things I’d like to see happen before I die
I nodded along to every single one of these (well, okay, not the Irish dance hair but only because I have a boy and he’s 2), but every other one had me twitchy.
I’m so relieved you don’t put the Irish dance hair wig on your boy! (-;
I’m anxious just reading this
When Monkey fell and hit his head on Friday night, it was by far the most serious thing that has happened to him – and it was just a superficial cut (but by God, why didn’t anyone tell me head wounds are SO bloody?). My husband later commended me on my calmness (hey, CALM is my word of the year). What he didn’t know was, that night as I lay down next to my firstborn, watching his sleeping face, I was imagining all the worst case scenarios and driving myself into a frenzy.
I had to get up and do housework just to feel better.
He is so NOT doing extreme sports. Or climbing monkey bars.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..January, Captured
Alison I didn’t know he fell and hit his head! Oh that must have been awful! When Fi had learned to walk one day at the mall she ran in front of an old lady and the lady flipped over her and then fell really hard – on top of her. This was such a bad fall that the woman had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital! Fi had cuts and bruises but was ok. It took me several days to calm down. Glad Monkey is ok.
Awesome list! I’m right there with you. Except for the Irish hair – never had to deal with that thank goodness!
Susanna Leonard Hill recently posted..Author/Illustrator Interview: Meet Michael Garland (And There’s A Giveaway!)
Nice subtle “oirish” twist there with leaving out the ‘h’ Susanna. Tanks. (-;
Well, Ado I guess your husband will never be in charge of fixing either Ella or Fiona’s hair piece for Irish Dancing?
#10 got me the most though.
Way.Too.Fast!!
Jackie recently posted..Once in My Life
I’d like to think it would probably kill him but you know what? He would probably rise to the challenge. He can be annoying like that. (-:
OMG I’m not the only one with directional dyslexia?Seriously my first week I lived in Phoenix with all 4 kids on my own I had soooo many nervous breakdowns!
And driving into Seattle by myself?Forget about it! I would get lost EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I HATE getting lost and even with the GPS I still do it!It SUCKS and sends me into anxiety mode EVERY TIME!
And what’s so awful is that you KNOW this about yourself, yet you STILL get lost and you STILL get pissed off over getting lost?! Jeez!
Okay, so I was doing fine……now I’m anxious. I thought there was a cure for smallpox???
And I always do the lunches in the morning…..I live on the edge like that. pass the vodka.
RoryBore recently posted..Monday Listicles – Before I Go Edition
As long as you don’t drink it until *after* you’ve made the kids’ lunches in the morning.
#10 – I’m right there with you. Okay, maybe on most of the other numbers, too. I’m glad some have chose to go ahead with the anxiety list. I’m feeling much less alone in the world
Ally recently posted..Monday Listicles – Things I’d LIke To See Happen
Me too!
Oh, I am so with you! When my youngest was in kindergarten, the school called about twenty minutes after I dropped him off to tell me he’d turned blue, passed out and that the ambulance was on its way. Talk about ANXIETY! I drove like a maniac to the school to find him sitting up and completely coherent. Turns out it was the antibiotic he was own. The doctor prescribed a hefty dose I found out after doing my own research. But he would never admit it was caused by that and told me to keep giving it to him. I didn’t, of course. And I changed doctors after chewing him up one side and down the other!
Diane@BeStillaMinute recently posted..Ten Things That Give Me Anxiety…
Sometimes mother’s instinct wins over doctor’s prescribing things.
I so could’ve done a list of things that make me anxious, but I kinda think it’s already known if you read my blog at all.
I have a great sense of direction, so getting lost doesn’t stress me out. I too am worried about having teenagers. I think we have to keep blogging trough it so we can commiserate with each other!
Just Jennifer recently posted..Before I Die
That’s a great idea Jen – blog ourselves thru the teen years. Yup.
So funny and true, leaving my husband in charge gives me anxiety too. #notalone
Mama and the City recently posted..My bucket list
Don’t you just wonder though…they would probably all do really well without us.
Hi Ado, you are not alone with this. I myself is so anxious when it comes to my one and only daughter. She’s only 2 years old yet, I can’t help myself getting paranoid when she walks or run. I am afraid she might fall and get bruised. What more when she’s already in school age. i can’t imagine how anxious I could be.
Catherine67 recently posted..What Is The Best Treatment For Severe Tinnitus Ringing Of The Ear
I love your sense of humor about your anxieties. And the school calling one and starting with “Fiona and Ella are fine…” HAHAHAHA!! That cracked me up! Also, number 10…*sigh*…I know.
XO
Runnermom-jen recently posted..When Love isn’t Enough…
Thanks Jen. (-:
It’s so true! The worries are the all-time performers of a mom’s life…
Catwoman recently posted..fogbeültetés
Well I laughed at your list and then realized thank you very much that I hadn’t thought of many of those reasons to have anxiety. I have now added those to the things I should worry about….as if I didn’t have enough…trust me when that phone rings I answer with just a bit a aprehension…I just know something is wrong…I too have had the omg they are all dead scene… still yet…loving your list and your site!
Bestfoodies recently posted..Kitchen Anxiety
Thank you! And sorry for making you anxious! (-:
Oh my gosh, YES. I also have WAY TOO MUCH mom-anxiety. So much. Reading this gave me anxiety. I also listed the school calling, except usually (so far, thank god) it’s because my child has puked or is white as a sheet and feverish.
Greta recently posted..#MondayListicles: Worry Wart
That was awesome. I can so relate (except the getting lost) that’s my husband and he has no trouble with anxiety. But I will visualize immediate worst case scenario with my children. Now I have one 18 and I have to keep reminding myself — he’s an adult, he can stay out …..ugh. I hate waking up in middle of night and wondering if he’s in his bed if I feel asleep before he came home. Honestly, I think it will be easier when he is away at college next year….i hope anyway. Hang in there.
Jamie recently posted..Musing on a 10 Count Bucket List.
Well thanks, Jamie, now I can’t sleep not knowing if your 18 year old son came home or not! (-:
1. Noah’s school also calls me proclaiming, “Noah’s okay!!”
2. When my sister and I were really small my dad made my mom show him how to do our hair in case we died. Then he died. So ironic, right? Regardless, I always thought that was so sweet of him.
Kim Pugliano recently posted..Comment on Monday Listicles 01/23/2011 by Kimberly Pugliano
Yes that was so sweet of him! So sad that he died but such a sweet story.
LOL, love your list. You had me with 1, children terrify me, and ROFL by #9. Appalacia and Irish dance hair, too much for one person to bear.
paul recently posted..10 Things Before I Go
OMG, we’re twins! I get lost all.the.time. And the GPS…LIES! And the lunchboxes, yeesh! Why is there never anything for the damn lunchbox?
My Mercurial Nature recently posted..This Listicle Is Making Me Anxious
So freaking funny! I love that you chose the anxiety list. I most definitely have Directional Dyslexia. Now I know what to call it when I get lost in a new city, or you know, driving to the cleaners…the same cleaners I’ve been to no less than a thousand times.
Sarcasm Goddess recently posted..Before I Die…
So funny! I love your writing. And kids disappearing make me have a friggin’ heart attack.
Recovering Supermom recently posted..Monday Listicles: Before I Die…
I’m with you on number 4. I get lost everywhere. I couldn’t even find my way out of the radiology ward last week with my teenager. He just kept walking when I went the wrong way – because I get lost everywhere. Which leads me to the teenage years. Radiology ward. Exploded kidneys. Ugh…don’t think about it right now.
Bridget recently posted..Joke Of The Day
I’m sure the school says that for EVERY phone call to EVERY parent
Great list!
Jenn recently posted..I Bear Witness (an exercise in personification)
Thanks for sharing this inspiring post..I can relate to this..Keep on sharing..
Sheryl recently posted..How to kill silverfish
Omg I love your list!!! Its awesome
Audrey recently posted..Honored
I really appreciate this post..Very useful and I learn a lot on it..
Germaine recently posted..Trick photography and special effects
Awesome post..I really appreciate it..Thanks a lot..
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I love this! Top 10 Things That Make Mommy Consider Anxiety Meds http://t.co/YFYimxk2
I Love this! I have three little girls and one is named Ellie and the other Fiona:)