What Actually Happened
The night before: Turn in early so I get a good night’s sleep and am ready for the day.
|Stayed up blogging and eating hummus & pita like a troll in the dark until 2 AM.|
|Wake at 6 AM before kids to get a jump-start on the day.||7:15 AM: Awoke to Fi violently shoving me, saying: “We’re late! AND you were snoring AND you have hummus breath!”|
|Make lunches the night before: pesto pasta, fruit salad, celery and cream cheese “ants on a log,” home-baked gluten-free cookies+ a cute love note.||7:40 AM: Began rummaging through kitchen drawers searching for matching lids for reusable containers.7:54 AM: Found lids but they were in dirty dishwasher that I forgot to turn on.7:55: Stuffed rice cakes w. melted cheese into politically-incorrect Ziplock baggies. Threw Yoplaits & bruisy apples into lunch boxes.(Forgot spoons.)(No time for love notes.)(Who the heck has time to bake gluten-free cookies?)|
|Shower.||Pulled on sweats that were in a heap beside the bed. Put hair into pony tail w./out brushing it. Brushed teeth before my hummus breath gassed everybody.|
|Get everyone dressed, brushed, and groomed in a serene, calm, Zen-like fashion.||Ella did not want to get out of bed and growled at me upon waking. Still smarting from the hummus breath comment, and panicked that we were late, I started barking orders.It’s not very Zen-like, but is v. effective when in hurry.|
|Sit down at the table and eat breakfast together. Talk, exchange pleasantries.||Lukewarm toast in the car on way to school. No one talked because they were watching Zaboomafoo, and I was too busy tailgating.|
|Arrive at school promptly at 8:30…hatted, jacketed, gloved, zipped, and Zen’d.||Skidded into the car-lane at 8:46, barked at children to get out of car, tossed jackets, hats, gloves and lunchboxes at them on way out.Shouted “I love you!” right before door slammed shut.|
I have low self esteem. Want to help? Go vote for me here, now, this very instant.
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