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What Actually Happened |
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The night before: Turn in early so I get a good night’s sleep and am ready for the day. |
Stayed up blogging and eating hummus & pita like a troll in the dark until 2 AM. |
| Wake at 6 AM before kids to get a jump-start on the day. | 7:15 AM: Awoke to Fi violently shoving me, saying: “We’re late! AND you were snoring AND you have hummus breath!” |
| Make lunches the night before: pesto pasta, fruit salad, celery and cream cheese “ants on a log,” home-baked gluten-free cookies+ a cute love note. | 7:40 AM: Began rummaging through kitchen drawers searching for matching lids for reusable containers.7:54 AM: Found lids but they were in dirty dishwasher that I forgot to turn on.7:55: Stuffed rice cakes w. melted cheese into politically-incorrect Ziplock baggies. Threw Yoplaits & bruisy apples into lunch boxes.(Forgot spoons.)(No time for love notes.)(Who the heck has time to bake gluten-free cookies?) |
| Shower. | Pulled on sweats that were in a heap beside the bed. Put hair into pony tail w./out brushing it. Brushed teeth before my hummus breath gassed everybody. |
| Get everyone dressed, brushed, and groomed in a serene, calm, Zen-like fashion. | Ella did not want to get out of bed and growled at me upon waking. Still smarting from the hummus breath comment, and panicked that we were late, I started barking orders.It’s not very Zen-like, but is v. effective when in hurry. |
| Sit down at the table and eat breakfast together. Talk, exchange pleasantries. | Lukewarm toast in the car on way to school. No one talked because they were watching Zaboomafoo, and I was too busy tailgating. |
| Arrive at school promptly at 8:30…hatted, jacketed, gloved, zipped, and Zen’d. | Skidded into the car-lane at 8:46, barked at children to get out of car, tossed jackets, hats, gloves and lunchboxes at them on way out.Shouted “I love you!” right before door slammed shut. |
I have low self esteem. Want to help? Go vote for me here, now, this very instant.
Linking up with Yeahwrite today. And pretty much every Tuesday. Come on over & link up!
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oh my word, this is the funniest damn thing i’ve seen in a LONG time.
thanks!
haha. . . that’s not a great morning. . .
Nope. (-:
Very very encouraging to discover @AdoTheMomalog is, in fact, imperfect http://t.co/45ZswZJk #yeahwrite43
Ouch, Erica!
That was a compliment!
Well yes, it was! (-:
This post makes me feel really really really normal. Really. Thanks.
Really really as in, really? (-: Glad to hear it.
We had one of those mornings today! I love the hummus breath
you wouldn’t say that if I breathed on you…!
Oh my gosh…this is quite possibly the BEST.POST.EVER!!!!! I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying…only because I can SO relate!
P.S. School starts at 8 am here…so you can imagine the scramble. Thank goodness I only have to get 2 of them presentable looking. The third one will be starting school in the fall. I’m going to need a LOT of coffee
You’re just going to have to eliminate something – start with hair brushing and caring if their socks match.
I think it’s time to cut back on blogging late at night
(and the hummus)
I’ll think about the blogging but the late-night hummus habit stays I’m afraid!
The Plan vs. What Actually Happened: http://t.co/fZRhFMLA
LOLOL!!! Ah yes, the best laid plans. What is it they say…You make plans, God laughs. Hope the rest of your day turned out better.
Thanks for writing this, and reminding us that we are all human. I needed reminding of that today, as certain people apparently expect me to be superhuman.
Elizabeth: I loved your post and commented there. (-:
I figured you had a frazzled morning…but you made me laugh so that’s something! I love the line “like a troll in the dark”. Oh God that cracked me up. I have a blog that shows up often under traffic sources called troll-face. I can’t imagine WHY they read my blog considering their subject of writing is nothing like mine. (mostly weird cartoons) And happens to be in a middle eastern type language sprinkled with some english. Being middle eastern I’m sure he eats a lot of hummus. See how that worked there? Full circle my friend. Full circle.
“eating hummus & pita like a troll in the dark” Hahahahaha! At least you’re eating something healthy. I eat cheetos and fried chicken in the dark. Your plan was beautiful but reality was much more entertaining.
Well, you got out the “I love you” at the end. That’s the important thing.
Hahhahah, I AM definitely with you on the first one. Oh, big meeting tomorrow? Cool cool, I’ll stay up til 3am watching Entourage.
Hahahahaha! You are so organized! It’s eerie.
So glad to know that I’m not the only one who doesn’t have perfectly scripted mornings! Hey, at least, we have good intentions, right?
PS – this was hilarious.
Thanks. (-:
Oh my God, it’s not just us? Thank God! I mean, I’m not glad that you have hectic mornings, too, but I’m glad someone else gets caught up in the same nonsense. Cuz misery loves company and all that.
Yes, unfortunately…it does! (-;
It’s not just us. (-:
the best-laid plans of mice and men and mombloggers. i figure if you *made* the list, that counts for something, right? and as one of these comments said, you did at least toss an “i love you” out of the car with the lunchboxes, so that counts. every morning I think”why didn’t I make the lunchboxes the night before” and every night I think “I’m too damn tired to make lunchboxes now.” The good things about plans going awry? Blog fodder, baby, blog fodder.
Glad I am not alone on the daily lunch box momma-drama. I do the same thing.
And you’re right: it’s all blog fodder, baby. (-:
Yes, it counts for something! (-:
I am working on removing the plan… plans never seem to work anyway… (especially since we decided to add a third kid to the mix!) The new plan = No PLAN
P.S. FYI – “No plan” is way easier said then done. Ugh!
Oh my GAW…this is frickin’ BRILLIANT! Why are our plans always SO unrealistic…the gluten free, the love note in the LB, the zen-like environment, the good breath…
this was hilarious -> The Plan / What Actually Happened http://t.co/Ci9734qt
Oh my stars, this is hilarious!!! If I planned – my plan would look similar to yours. Alas, I don’t plan – and my morning looked similar to yours.
The 2am bit… priceless. Great post!
Thanks Lenore! (-:
I feel this way most mornings and I only have ONE 8 month old….Lord help me when I add more kiddos, school and carpools to the mix!
Take heart, I’ve been having these mornings for 10 straight years now. You will get used to ‘em.
This is hysterical! I’ve never seen an excel chart that I love more
Thanks Jennifer. I probably shouldn’t have made a plan in the 1st place. (-:
http://t.co/2bjnuUG3 via @mommalog
This is why I ask the same question of non-homeschooling parents that they ask of me, “How do you do it?!” Would it just ruin your vision of me if my number one reason for homeschooling is my total inability to get 4 kids out of the house before 10am? Aum, my friend, aummmm….
After reading that I think I need to consider home-schooling. (-:
Lol, this is me most mornings too! But hey, plannings overrated, and the made it to school
I’ve actually been prebagging munchies so I can hurry along school lunch making, it really does seem to help
That’s pretty smart. I always have ideas like that – I’ll do it for two days and then I “get too busy” and revert to the old “chicken-with-her-head-cut-off” me, running around the house like crazy.
Do you live at my house?
I’m beginning to think so! (-:
What a morning. I also had the idea of packing the lunch-box the night before and I did it once. At the beginning. And then I subscribed the tot for school-lunches and pack the snack-box before we leave. But I got into the habit of getting up really early and hardly ever stay up after 11pm. But I do hope you have some more relaxed mornings once in a while.
This is really really really really familiar! I always have the best of intentions but somehow things always seem to get terribly off track. Thanks for the smile this afternoon : )
You’re welcome Mary. (-:
Yeah, this is me. Like, every day. In fact, it’s currently 10:43pm and I really need to get to bed, but here I am – blogging like a troll in the darl (no hummus, though).
Yeah, I’m going to bed now.
No, really.
Yeah, right. (-:
PS: If you’re going to stay up that late blogging like a troll in the dark you should get yourself some hummus and just go all-out.
I can TOTALLY relate!!
Hi Ado, what can I say? You are such a great mom! What you did is not easy.. As we all know, being a mom is somewhat like a super hero. No room for tiredness.
Love this whole post! Presentation is awesome and eating like a troll in the dark may be the best writing description ever. As for the rest, showering, matching socks, and brushing hair is overrated. And if you ever do make “good” gluten free cookies let me know as at some point in the next year I will need to attempt gluten free desserts!
Every gluten-free recipe I’ve tried for cookies has turned out lumps of cement but I’m still researching the topic and will be sure and let you know when I hit pay-dirt.
ROFL! I can’t wait to read about your plan and reality when the school day’s over!
But chin up, I love staying up late, blogging and watching mindless entertainment on the telly… and regret it in the morning!
I love love love this set up!! Awesome. And hysterical.
Thank you! (-:
Just recovering from a similar situation this morning. Older daughter standing in the kitchen, coat and backpack on, watching me slap peanut butter on bread due to lack of time to create something more pleasurable for her lunch. “Mom, I told you I want to go early for study group.” My question is, how do I get her to school EARLY on a day we got up LATE?
Ay ya yayyyye… I love you even more after reading this post! You’re my kinda gal
(-:
I was halfway through reading the comments before I realized you weren’t writing about me. What a relief to not have to toss my house for the hidden cameras and microphones.
Thanks for a laugh and some commiseration on a day I needed it the most. -Ellen
You’re welcome! (-:
I bark orders a lot when kids are slow to get ready and everyone is running late. Although, it’s not always effective. I think I had to tell my son four times this morning to get his shoes and backpack on. I have these dreams that I’ll get stuff ready the night before, but that hardly every happens. I’m just too tired at night to pull it together. :/