I don’t have much for you today except that I came in third this week in the Yeah Write linkup. I just love that linkup and I get all into it. I loved the post up there by Kvetch Mom that won the popular vote this week – it’s about mom jeans, about the terrifying reality that, “once you go elastic, you never go back.”
My favorite post of the week out on the blogosphere was Scary Mommy’s The Happiest Mother On The Block. In it she describes how every weekday morning as she drives her bickering children to school “while hissing at them” – she passes The Happy Mother. The Happy Mother always has an ear-to-ear smile on her face, looks totally present, and seems genuinely happy to be with her kids. She looks like she wakes up at 4:30 AM to do yoga and cook a full breakfast for everybody. Scary Mommy wonders if The Happy Mother is topping off her coffee with vodka or popping pills or something worse that’s “totally unfathomable”…like that maybe she’s just plain happy.
I relate to Scary Mommy a lot on this one. Not so much on the Happy Mother front but on the Perfect Mother one. Mom-friends I am close to are imperfect ones. They aren’t afraid for me to witness their imperfections or their kid’s imperfections. And vice versa: I’m not afraid of telling it like it is to them. I am not wary of my kid throwing a tantrum in front of them or misbehaving – I don’t feel judged. There are no faux fronts or perfect mom facades, because frankly, I hate that shit. It just totally puts me off.
Moms who are regularly spewing a running narrative of perfection – those are the ones I wonder about. Are they for real? I classify Perfect Moms as dangerous and toxic. Toxic because if I’m not careful around them, they just totally screw up my self-esteem. Dangerous because moms who project such perfection make it all unsafe for regular, pissy, imperfect, flustered, frequently premenstrual moms like me who are known to hiss at their bickering children on the way to school to go ahead and feel okay about themselves.
So go and read that post on Scary Mommy if you have a chance – it’s a gem.
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