I’ve raised my kids to think that buying lottery tickets is gambling, and gambling is for vagrants, slackers, layabouts, and sluggards.
Well.
I just packed those same children into the car after hearing about the $640 million jackpot and zoomed down to the local 7-11 where I bought a fist full of lottery tickets and a Dolly Madison cupcake for Ella. Fiona, my little mini-me, a parsimonious Puritan, pointed out that bad habits come in pairs – “You see?” she said. “You let Ella get junk food at 7-11 before bedtime, and you never do that. It’s because you’re buying lottery tickets.”
Buying lottery tickets: a bad parenting moment that I figure might be over-looked if I win the jackpot.
(It was exciting though! I had to elbow some old people out of my way to get to the cash machine!) (Just kidding!) (I had no idea you can’t use your ATM card to by lottery tickets and I had no idea how to buy one.) (I once wrote an entire short story in the genre of anti-literature in all parenthetical sentences.) (Which has nothing to do with anything, but there you go.) (I am ashamed to tell you that I bought $50 worth of lottery tickets.) (And asked the man if we could pick all of the numbers ourselves.) (He said it wouldn’t be a good idea as we’d be there all night filling out forms and the lottery spin was tonight.)
Fi: “This isn’t right, mommy. You could become addicted to it.” (She is such a Puritan stick-in-the-mud! So like me!)
Me: “Now isn’t the time for standards. If we win, I’ll buy you something.”
Fi: “A horse?”
Me: “If I win not only will I buy you a horse, I’ll buy you the whole gosh-dern ranch.”
Fi: “Never mind about becoming addicted – do it.” (Oh how quickly we forsake our Puritanical standards!)
Ella: “If we win can we turn the garage into a stable?”
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If you win, you’re required to jet over here and visit me.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
I’ll have my private jet chauffer me there.
When you win, will you fund some sort of blogger spa camp where no children are allowed? Thank you in advance.
Twitter: marylweimer
I agree! A blogger spa! A blogger spa!
And don’t worry if it’s a bad parenting moment. If you win, you’ll have plenty to pay for therapy when she becomes an addicted gambler.
YES! (-:
If you win, you’re required to come visit all of your blog/twitter friends individually. Alyssa and I have to be visited separately or together twice. Don’t be cheap.
Twitter: CynthiaMeents
Hahahaaha!
So it’s morning now and I already know I didn’t win, but you? I hope you did WIN, and NOT just so you can add me to your list of bloggers to visit — you’l visit Maine regardless, right? p.s. I haven’t been riding for years, but I’d love an invite to Fi & Ella’s ranch!!
Twitter: wordsxo
I totally pictured you as a rider up there in Maine Julia. (-:
If you won last night, have I got the pilot for you!! (I’m sure you’d be cool about letting him use the plane to travel with his own family when you’re not using it, right?) Fi cracks me up…my E is just like that, and I know EXACTLY where it came from.
Twitter: S_Supermommy
Is your husband really a pilot? How cool is that!
Yep, he really is!
Twitter: S_Supermommy
I bought some, too, and I never buy those big multi-state ones. (I admit to occasionally buying my state lotto ticket) After NOT winning, I read that I’m fifty times more likely to get struck by lightening that win a lottery. And only 90 people get struck by lightening every year. I read some other “more likely” numbers, too, but they were more depressing than not winning Mega Millions. Yikes! Of course, our state lotto drawing is tonight, so there’s still hope, right? Kidding. Sort of.
Twitter: normalmomally
I didn’t win. Kind of hoping I get struck by lightning in the near future so I can up my chances for winning another lottery in the future!
I wish that the lottery payouts would just be $5 million and there would be more of them. Let some other people have a chance, $600 mil winner!
Twitter: Toddlerismblog
That is such a good idea. And you know the lump sum is going to ruin their lives anyway!
Twitter: Adothemomalog
Ba hahahhahahaaa… this post is hillarious! My 1st born is a goody two shoes as well, I can totally hear him saying something like that but also being swayed by the idea of him getting something REALLY GOOD out of it. Kids are so funny sometimes. I love that she pointed out the junk food thing as if you were going down this completely slippery slope. lol. i love it.
Twitter: minister_mama
As a parent it feels like we are living with little salesmen, constantly being pitched. (-: