Holy iPhone, Batman. I’m doing it.
Or at least I’m going to try.
Screen-Free Week is April 30 – May 6, 2012. It’s an annual event in which parents, children, teachers, and others across the country turn off screen media (TV, video games, computers, cell phones, texting, email, blogging, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and celebrate the magic of being unplugged.
This is my f-f-final post before I time-travel back to the frigging 1950′s to a time before they had computers, iPhones, texting, email, apps to distract rowdy children in checkout lines. A time before my holy trinity: Facebook-Twitter-Blog.
I posted this on Facebook last night:
Sure, we dramatically killed our TV last year but the TV is just one of many screens. My kids will do fine – I’ve had them make lists of things they want to do instead of winding down with a Netflix video of Woody Woodpecker (don’t judge me – I already judge myself on that one. If Woody Woodpecker were a food with the equivalent nutritional content as the intellectual stimulation it provides, it would be Lucky Charms. Definitely.)
For the long-assed 35 minute car-ride to school I’m just going to replace DVDs of The Princess Bride and Puss In Boots with children’s audio stories – or, God forbid – talking!
They’ll be fine. I’m more worried about me. Since starting this blog a year ago something kind of bad has happened: I’ve become totally plugged in – a cyborg. Thanks to my iPhone I’m on all of the social media practically all the time – and I’ve become hooked. As the deadline to go screen-free came closer, I broke into a cold sweat. I decided that since I am a mommy-blogger and I need social media and I can’t possibly function without the Internet or Twitter, that it would be okay to just pretend to join my kids. I would pretend go screen-free and then just plug-in at night after they go to sleep.
I tried really hard to make that one okay but it just didn’t sit right with me. If I expect my children to do it, I’ve got to man up and do it, too. Shit. That’s the hardest thing about having kids – for me. They make you want to be a better person.
I’m not a crunchy Earth mother type, by any stretch of the imagination, so this will NOT be easy for me. It will not come naturally to me and I am probably going to go into withdrawals. I’m already freaking out about missing my beloved Yeah Write linkup which happens every Tuesday. What will I do without my weekly writer’s community? Will they forget about me?
WILL THE INTERNET STILL BE HERE WHEN I GET BACK?
How do I feel about this? The only way I can put it into words is that I’m pretty sure I can understand how Keith Richards feels the day before he knows he’s going into a detox unit.
It was the realization of how much I was balking at the idea of unplugging, how much it unnerved me, that made me see I really need to do this. So, I’m doing it. Or at least, I’m going to try to do it.
One day at a time, right Keith, old buddy?
And although I love Mommy Padawan, who has chosen this week’s Listicles topic (10 things you are good at) – I’m going to instead list 10 reasons why I’m scared to go screen-free. So – see you next week, that is, if the Internet doesn’t collapse without me. (-:
Why I’m Afraid
1. What if I have to wait in line at the DMV with my kids? Without an iPhone? That’s…that’s insanity.
2. How will I have a relationship with my husband? Seriously – he’s out of town for 10 days, we mostly communicate through email and texting. Will he forget about us?
3. If I can’t let the kids watch Woody Woodpecker on my iPhone to distract them while I’m blow-drying their hair, how will I blow-dry their precious locks? (Answer: this week they’re going to go au naturel.)
4. Will my Facebook peeps miss my obsessive posting of Ella’s daily quotes, or will they be relieved?
5. What if something big happens – what if Lindsay Lohan goes back to blonde or something? – and I miss it because I didn’t see the Yahoo News Headlines?
6. If I unplug Facebook, Twitter, and my Blog…will I matter? Will anything matter? What’s it all about, Alfie????
7. I’m not going to be able to hide behind my computer when my kids want to run and play tag. I’m going to have to play tag. I’m going to have to run.
8. What if my Klout score that I tell everybody I don’t care about drops? I’ve worked so hard to jerk it up two points to a pathetic 46!
9. I’m going to have to stop distracting myself with my blog from writing my novel and just write it. Gulp.
10. What if I am able to get through a whole week without any of it?
Wouldn’t that be something.
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