Disclaimer: This post was written by my husband, Dermo (yes, you heard me – “Dermo,” which makes us “Ado and Dermo”). I am not responsible for its contents.
My husband was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland, where he lived in a two-up/two-down row house in the city with his parents and four brothers. When I met him, he was still living at home quite happily with his Mammy and Daddy, oh yes he was!
10 Things An Irish Husband Should Not Do
1. Feign interest in recycling (i.e., “reuse” balloons pilfered from the school fair and try to pass them off as thoughtful Mother’s Day decorations).
2. Compete with the American male on the quantity & organization of tools in their garage. Most Irishmen grew up in a home the size of an American garage and we don’t give a feck about garages because we don’t know what to do with them.
3. Expect that bringing home take-away from the local fish and chip shop will pass for a date night with the wife.
4. Refer to your beloved as the wife on her blog.
5. Hope that anyone in America will truly understand the ritual and reverence required to pull and drink a pint of Guinness.
6. Assume that irony will work with your wife’s Californian friends. I’m here to tell you: it won’t.
7. Say anything disparaging about Bono such as “Bono’s a gobshite,” or “Bono has to wear lifts in his shoes.” All American women think Bono is some kind of irresistable rock star. Irishmen think he is a gobshite.
8. Cook anything other than tinned soup, since cooking was always done by the Mammy.
9. Make helpful suggestions in response to a life crisis that one of your wife’s Californian friends is having, such as: “What they need is a good kick up the arse!”
10. Accompany your wife to the beach and try to get a tan.
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