I’ve been out of town, but I’m back now.
In case you were wondering where I was, Fiona and I were in California – her field hockey team was playing at Cal Cup (it’s an international field hockey tournament! I mean – holy field hockey stick, Batman!) While there, I attempted to make like Sporty Parent on the sidelines. As you may know, I am not Sporty Parent. So I was nervous. I’d never even seen a field hockey game before, and I had no idea what to wear – jeans? shorts? the yoga pants I slept in last night? Juicy Couture sweats that I don’t even own? purse or sports bag? is a baseball cap kosher at a field hockey match or is there some kind of hockey hat for moms? do you have to bring your own umbrella chair? what are the chances of that hard little ball taking out a parent? and so on…
Well, I jumped right in and as it turns out, you can wear anything and you can just sit on the grass. Also, I’m a pretty good Shouty Parent and I never would’ve realized this if I hadn’t gone to the tournament. For you novices, here are some of the things you can holler from the sidelines at your child’s field hockey game:
- “It’s yours! It’s yours!” –> which means, “Take the damn ball from your opponent!”
- “Get in there!” –> which means, “Don’t be afraid of those big 12-year-old boys wielding sticks, just get the ball!”
- “Whack it!” –> which means, “Our team is losing so take any and all desperate measures to get a goal!”
- “Keep your stick on the ground! This isn’t Lacrosse!” –> which means, “My child does other sports too and we sometimes get confused.”
- “Head’s up!” –> a nice way of saying, “Stop passing to the wrong team!”
- “Why doesn’t the coach give my kid more time on the field??!!” (just kidding)
So I’m back now, emboldened by my first attempt at being Sporty Parent. I’m proud of my mom-self because not only did I survive feigning sporty (I fooled no one), I also survived a group hike with other parents and their kids in Sequoia National Forest. To the top of Morro Rock. Me! If you knew me in person you would understand how unfathomable me hiking up to this rock is – I’m sort of too high-maintenance to really commune with nature. Also, I didn’t really like the idea of a group hike with a bunch of uber-mountain goaty hiker parents, but Fiona wanted me there so I went. And you know what? I did it. I hoofed it up to the top of that ridiculous rock without kvetching or doing something that would embarrass her, such as hyperventilating, passing out, or getting mauled by a bear.
You may know that in the past I’ve had several freakish experiences with wildlife (the giant snapping turtle that abused me, two fornicating 10-foot-long black rat snakes, etc., etc.) – because for some reason, maybe it’s my Clinique perfume (Aromatics Elixer) wildlife hates me. So when we were starting our hike some French people said that they were very afraid of ze bears. I said, ze bears? Shit! Merde! There are actual bears in Sequoia? Oh, oui, they said, oui, oui! “You’ll be fine as long as you lock ze food up in your bear safe.”
Well I plum forgot my bear safe and you can imagine how quickly I ditched the power bars and trail mix in my backpack. I was terrified of meeting a bear on the trail (who isn’t?) because out of a group of 30 people, I’m going to be the one idiot the bear is attracted to. That’s just the way things are with me and nature. The last time I went hiking I sprayed lavender-scented hair detangler all over myself because I thought it was bug spray. It turned out to be a kind of bee-and-mosquito attractant. (-:
This week’s listicles topic is 10 summer memories, so I’m going to do 10 summery pictures of our trip to California.
First we saw the beautiful meadow, and then...the MAMA BEAR and her CUB!
Santa Barbara - always summery - and a poignant sand-sculpture for Memorial Day.
Linking up with Stasha’s Monday Listicles!
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I missed you!! And awesome pictures – you did spot a bear, but aw, sweet, with her baby!
I missed you too Alison! (-: I am off to go catch up on your blog…!
Your daughter is on a team good enough to go an international tourney and you’d never seen her play before? More importantly, did you enjoy it despite it not being your kind of thing?
You were about 10 minutes from where I live. The weather was pretty atypical, coldest few days in weeks.
Amazing pics. Thanks for sharing!
She does the field hockey through her school and since they are under-twelve there’s no one around as young as they are for them to have scrimmages. They had one last month at Johns-Hopkins but we missed it as we had a scheduling conflict. But no – I’ve never seen a single game! The only times they practice are during school at PE. I have seen a little bit at her summer camp but not an actual game! So yup, never seen a game before last week!
Ahh, that makes sense. I know you are pretty hands on, so something didn’t compute for me
PS: Jay, you live in a beautiful area with picture-perfect weather. I’m jealous!
Beautiful pictures. Love the palm tree lined road. Glad all went well and you “survived” everything!!!
Finally! I was hoping you’d be back soon
I would love to see California, I’ve been to Hollywood but that was gross and doesn’t count. Your pictures are beautiful! What a good sport you are to go climb the rock – glad it was a good experience and you were not attacked by wildlife at any time on the trip. I bet your daughter was so excited to be going on a big trip for her team as well. Good start to summer!
Thanks Anna. (-:
WOW…I, like you, am not the “outdoorsy” type so am uber-impressed!!!
Great pics and sounds like you had a great time! C’est Magnifique!!!
I am VERY impressed you climbed that gigantic rock. I’d volunteer to be on the ground taking pictures.
You’re smarter than I am.
I am VERY impressed you climbed that gigantic rock. I’d volunteer to be on the ground taking pictures.
Welcome back! What an adventure. Way to go Hockey mama. Nice pics! I honestly thought the prench couple was talking about Zebras.
“Who you callin’ Hockey Mama?” (-;
I Survived Nature *and* Sports http://t.co/WTcmfBSN via @adothemomalog #MondayListicles
I loved your sports quotes. Thinking back, I have used a couple of those.
What wonderful photos, and great memories!
Holy crap Ado! You really did see a bear! I don’t know how I could have handled that without running away in a panic.
And as for the sporty parents, I fear I am already one…and oldest is only four. God help me next year when she can play softball!
It’s fun to be Sporty Parent because you get to shout with abandon – not many times in life you can do that. (-:
Awesome pictures! I remember that snapping turtle story. Awesome. Did you blog about the snakes? I’d like that read that one. Have a great Monday!
Wow. That rock looked awesome. Looks like you got to experience the best of both worlds in your California visit. And I like you yell at my children’s games. It’s kind of embarrassing. Don’t know where it comes from, but I try to be a very positive parent yeller as you are.
I didn’t yell – at first – until I understood what the lingo was. Then I got in touch with my inner yeller parent – I had no idea she existed. Man she’s a competitive little sh*t! (-:
Glad to hear I have company in the yeller mom category.
I Survived Nature *and* Sports http://t.co/3A9fFnS5
Fun post! And that sand sculpture. OMG! Amazing.
Thanks Debbie. (-:
Oh my goodness, Ado…you just made my nature-loving, sport-loving mama heart sing!!! Good for you!! Anything for our children, right? I’m so proud of you for hiking your “high-maintenance” booty up that rock!
Glad you’re back
xoxo
Well maybe you inspired me, Runnermom. Just sayin’…!
Love this post by @AdotheMomalog RT: I Survived Nature *and* Sports http://t.co/isDKZ9un via @sharethis
Thanks for the tweet Jen. (-:
I laughed out loud on this one. The lavender hair detangler/bug attractant killed me. No wonder you liked our Listicle.
But did you know our post last week was about sports parents? It’s like we’re drinking the same water! Or gatorade.
Loved your nature pictures (and your hockey girl)! Ellen
Interesting translation but I would argue that:
“Keep your stick on the ground! This isn’t Lacrosse”
Means, stop lashing out at my child!
California is just so dang beautiful. Love your pics and I can’t believe you saw that mama bear and cub!
I am forced to feign sporty 3-4 times per week, at my boys’ baseball practices and games. I seriously don’t even know how the game works.
What a great trip! And excellent photos, I’m glad that bear didn’t get you!
Those sports quotes are absolutely hilarious!! I loved them, especially the one about LaCrosse!!! Very good post–still laughting!
Thank you Janet. (-:
very impressed that you survived climbing that rock! and bears. We had a big black bear come about 20 feet from our camp fire the last time hubby and I were camping. couldn’t even chase the stupid thing away…just sat there staring at us.
I swear he was waiting for us to pass him a cold Bud
At least it didn’t maul you!! (-:
Great summer California pictures! I’m not a very good sporty parent either. But it turns out neither of my girls is that into sports so far, so it may not matter.
What a relief for you! (-:
It turns out neither of my girls is into sports so far, Thanks for sharing this with us. I am looking forward for more interesting post.
I love nature. The beauty of nature is really amazing. I love sports as well. In fact, I joined volleyball game here in our town.