The girls and I are in Amish country again (apparently I have a thing for the Amish). I’m taking them to an amusement park for younger children (Dutch Wonderland) before they get too old to be interested in going there. Fi convinced me to go on the Fly Rider ride and I was so proud of myself for being the mom who goes on rides – until I realized I’d had too much Starbucks and I swear to God, if that thing went around just one more time I would’ve horked and embarrassed my daughter. I had to be helped off it and that was it for me and the rides. I’m thinking this will be the last year that Fi will be interested in going there and it makes me kind of sad, because it reminds me how quickly she’s growing up and how brief childhood is. We are also going antiquing and exploring the Amish Village, then home.
We’re near a town called – I kid you not – Intercourse, PA.
Which is near another town called – I’m not kidding – Fertility.
I tweeted about this, and a lot of you people had nudge-nudge-wink-wink replies:
The other nearby Amish town-with-another-sexual-name is called <drum roll please…!> Blueball.
And don’t forget to stop by Virginville.
What the…? I thought the Amish were upright. Now I’m even more fascinated.
We’ve seen quite a few Amish women driving the horse and buggy, and the men with their young sons working the farm with horses and plows instead of motorized tractors. The teenaged boys get around on contraptions that look like bicycle/scooters, only since they are not permitted to sit on a bike seat and use a pedal while riding around in Intercourse (because it’s considered too worldly in a town called Blueball, ahem), they have to stand on the bike like a scooter and use one leg to push themselves around.
It just stuns me. It’s like these people are frozen back in time. And they work so hard – from sun-up until the sun goes down. The hardworking women wake at 4:30 to cook breakfast for their farmer husbands. I just feel so sheepish thinking about the way I treat my husband, and how I am so lazy, in comparison with the Amish – if my husband gets up at 4:30 I have him go to Starbucks and bring me a cappuccino. At dinnertime if he’s lucky, he generally gets whatever leftover kid-food is around. Wouldn’t it be interesting to do an episode of Wife Swap with me and my husband, and an Amish couple? The Amish community would probably fire me by sundown on the first day, because I’d sit around and blog all day and say things like, “But where’s the swimming pool?” and “Why don’t I take you down to Sears so you can buy a tractor – you could plow your fields at night, in secret – and use the daytime to sit by the pool.”
So you should travel this way: Virginville, Fertility, Intercourse and Blueball.
Don’t question my logic.
PS: I can’t go on rides either. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
I have already read a lot for the Amish people, and I’ve always wondered about their special lifestyle. They are really respectable for their organic life, they just don’t have any charcoal footprints… I wish that more people would live like they, it is such a beautiful way of a simple living. They don’t care about technical developments and don’t get excited about some high-tech toys. They can enjoy the life in its own simple beauty. That’s what the human of the modern consumer age has forgotten. Unfortunately.
My neighbor is friends with some Amish teenagers. Their parents let them stay out all night partying and drink beer. Then, when their 18, it’s time to buckle down and be a family man. No wonder they’re so happy.
Twitter: lucyball15
I heard that from ages 16 – 20 they can wear “regular” clothes, go out into the “real world” and just have a good time. Then at age 20 they have the choice of committing their lives to the Amish way, or not. Apparently 85% of them do commit – however although it seems like they have some freedom of choice here, they are only allowed an 8th grade level education, no further – otherwise they would be shunned. So it’s pretty dang challenging for someone with an 8th-grade level education to set out in the “real” world successfully, without having to work 16 hour a day jobs.
There are some great Amish characters in Lauren Groff’s book Arcadia – the Amish basically bail out the hippie-dippies who start a commune and want to “live off the land” but have not a CLUE about how to farm. Much later, one of the Amish leaves the community to live secular for a few years, but she comes back and says she’d rather have the community and roots, then freedom and rootlessness.
Hmm. Food for thought, I thought. But gotta say – have seen Amish & Pennsylvania Dutch at the beach, and swimming in long-sleeve, calf-length dresses, while wearing wee cotton bonnets on your head? That’s sort of a deal-breaker. Although one woman dressed like this was an AMAZING boogie boarder. wild.
Twitter: mannahattamamma
Oh my – swimming in calf-length dresses and bonnets? Yup. Never mind the family and rootedness factor, for me that’s a deal-breaker. (-:
4:30am…My hat’s off to those ladies. If someone gets me up that early, I usually assume it’s because they have a death wish.
Twitter: paigekellerman
This is absolutely hilarious!!!
Twitter: seeuhome
Hahahaha!! I’d totally watch Wife Swap if you were the star
Those are some wild and crazy names for towns!